by Percy Bysshe Shelley
My brother was the best brother a girl could ever want. He always intimidated any boy that came near me, stood up for me when girls were being mean, and put in a good word for me when I had another fight with our parents. He was so smart, so motivated. He even got into Harvard University. He did so by getting a scholarship, seeing as he was the top football player of his high school. Everybody loved him, he was a true peoples person. He was beloved. He was… That sounds weird, doesn’t it? He was loved, he was smart.
I love him, no past tense, present tense. I love you. Do you hear me? I love you. Shelley, you will forever be in my heart. You left way too soon. You were taken away from me too soon. I will never meet your children, and they will never meet their father. But I guess that is life. We can’t control it. We are just given time, and we are to use it to the fullest. Some people just get way less time, you got way less time. You couldn’t control it, you couldn’t tame it. It slipped through your fingers just like water. Your life was like one long shower, all the minutes just slipping away. No that’s not a good comparison, because you can plug the shower. But we can’t plug life, we can’t plug time, it has no boundaries. It hits you, it hits you with a majestic force, like a wave hitting the shore. And just like that wave, as soon as it hits you, it starts separating, it breaks.
All those waves are the years you live. You didn’t have many waves. You had one big wave, I wish you had more, I wish I could bottle that wave, keep it with me, keep you with me. But you’re gone. Gone, finished, dead. Not here anymore. And it makes me cry. It makes me howl like the sound of a ship in the storm, blowing its horn in search for the shore. It makes me cry like the rain falling from the sky.
Seconds seem like years, years without you. And the years spend with you feel like seconds. All those memories, slipping through my hands, dripping through my mind. Clouding my head, making it rage, making me rage. I wish I could hold you, even just for a second. But every time I try, it’s like hugging air, like hugging water… They won’t be held, it just makes you cold. I feel cold, cold in my heart. You took all the warmth, all the love. And only you can give it back. Only you can make me warm again, happy again. So please wait for me. Wait for my waves to run out, for my time to be up, for my life to be over. Wait for me.